Febuary 2019

February is the month when we think of LOVE. That wonderful warm feeling we have when that one individual seems to fulfill everything that we need. LOVE, as they say, is what makes the world go round.

I’d bet that for every one who anticipates Valentine’s Day with glee, there are half a dozen who anticipate being disappointed, let down, or worse.

Our emotions, like our thoughts, can run on a loop: “I always choose the wrong kind of man”, “Girls generally let me down”, “I’m not lucky in love”. Our brains are expectation / prediction organs: what we expect is what we predict. And when we predict something, then we act like it’s going to happen. And if we act as if that’s going to happen (“he’s going to let me down”) could our actions actually be influencing the outcome?

In Solution Focused Thinking we make the time and space to concentrate on the preferred future. What we’d like to happen, not what we wouldn’t like to happen. ‘If you had a happy new relationship what would you be doing differently?’ ‘What are your strengths that come out when you’re in a good relationship?’ “What would show you that you’re in a relationship that is going well for you?’

Talking / thinking along these lines, cultivates Solution Focused activity in the brain. And Solution Focused talk feels good. And it subtly alters brain activity towards a positive state. It is exceptionally helpful to be hopeful.

Yes, you can move out of a rut. Yes, you can act and think and feel differently. The future doesn’t have to be like the past. In LOVE, or in anything , for that matter.

Happy February!